It started when I farted
& I headed to'rds the door
my bowels overtook me
& I shitted in the floor
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
nother day in the life
Life on a mission is sometimes just life. It's amazing-- good & bad-- what people can adjust to. I try to take photos of things the second I find them interesting or out of place, because they'll soon seem normal. Last time I went to the beach I didn't really notice the men staring at me & the two other 'white women' I was with before they came over & asked if they could take photos with us, or the herd of goats rolling in the sand. Walking out of the convent after lunch today, I was only slightly impressed by the 6 foot snake the gardener William was still beating to death. (btw, thank goodness he's not Hindu or Jain & is okay with killing those awful things..)
It's strange that living in a beautiful place full of prayer & beauty one can still have crummy days. Most of us here alternatingly have electricity or water. I'd rather have electricity though, so my fan can stay on & just shower at someone else's place. Waking up from a nap because I'm sweating, or because the women who live under me are burning leaves in a flower pot that seems to vent right up through my window isn't so bad anymore. I can now manage to stay half asleep while I throw off my sleeping bag, slip on flip flops, rummage for a flashlight & stumble to the bathroom to squat pee, all the while checking the hall for spiders, centipedes, snakes, etc. Children vomiting, crying, fighting is also totally controllable now.
It's also amazing to see what stays the same-- what I don't think I will get used to. I cannot bring myself to walk around barefoot. I've been 'offensive' at some places & in certain company for leaving my sandals on, but just- ew- not going to happen. When the toddlers take off their shorts in the middle of the room (they don't wear underwear) and then walk over to the bathroom, leave the door open to do their business, wash their little hand & bring me their shorts to put back on them.. I would just prefer if they were little barbie dolls without real um, parts.
Speaking of 'parts'.. most of the men here are totally disgusting. They where these weird 'man skirts' that I guess are traditional clothing, but anytime it's just women around, they will lift them to adjust themselves, or just flash it out.. They also all pee publicly, & not off in a corner, just anywhere- right when they feel like doin it like the damn cattle. To walk to the University, we take a back trail & pass by what looks like a dormitory & these guys will all run outside & drop their towels. The other day in the bus, me & one of the French volunteers managed to find a seat, & an old drunk stood in the isle & played with himself as he starred at us, & flashed his skirt open a few times. I've seen way too much disgusting male genitalia for one flippin lifetime.
Well hell. That's a pretty negative way to end, huh? Okay, on a different note- a totally non disgusting Indian man- been reading the life & times of Ghandi by... (can't remember the author's name, but he's really good so I'll insert it later) & it's really pretty amazing. He did a lot more work in South Africa than the movie gave him credit for.- Yes, my extent of pre-India Ghandi knowledge is that, a book my brother lend me once about his teachings that I flipped through on a flight from Alaska, & for some reason i know he used to try to eat a tomato a day to avoid constipation. Apparently his father & grandfather were prime ministers in a small west Indian City, he got his law degree in England in 2 years and 8 months where he was shy & did his best to imitate western men (but kept a promise to his mother to avoid wine, women, and meat... so not very western at all in my opinion) He also decided at age 36 to be celibate & kept this vow until his death. It's really good so far, but I'm only 150 pages in & its bout 600 I think. I'll keep you posted.
It's strange that living in a beautiful place full of prayer & beauty one can still have crummy days. Most of us here alternatingly have electricity or water. I'd rather have electricity though, so my fan can stay on & just shower at someone else's place. Waking up from a nap because I'm sweating, or because the women who live under me are burning leaves in a flower pot that seems to vent right up through my window isn't so bad anymore. I can now manage to stay half asleep while I throw off my sleeping bag, slip on flip flops, rummage for a flashlight & stumble to the bathroom to squat pee, all the while checking the hall for spiders, centipedes, snakes, etc. Children vomiting, crying, fighting is also totally controllable now.
It's also amazing to see what stays the same-- what I don't think I will get used to. I cannot bring myself to walk around barefoot. I've been 'offensive' at some places & in certain company for leaving my sandals on, but just- ew- not going to happen. When the toddlers take off their shorts in the middle of the room (they don't wear underwear) and then walk over to the bathroom, leave the door open to do their business, wash their little hand & bring me their shorts to put back on them.. I would just prefer if they were little barbie dolls without real um, parts.
Speaking of 'parts'.. most of the men here are totally disgusting. They where these weird 'man skirts' that I guess are traditional clothing, but anytime it's just women around, they will lift them to adjust themselves, or just flash it out.. They also all pee publicly, & not off in a corner, just anywhere- right when they feel like doin it like the damn cattle. To walk to the University, we take a back trail & pass by what looks like a dormitory & these guys will all run outside & drop their towels. The other day in the bus, me & one of the French volunteers managed to find a seat, & an old drunk stood in the isle & played with himself as he starred at us, & flashed his skirt open a few times. I've seen way too much disgusting male genitalia for one flippin lifetime.
Well hell. That's a pretty negative way to end, huh? Okay, on a different note- a totally non disgusting Indian man- been reading the life & times of Ghandi by... (can't remember the author's name, but he's really good so I'll insert it later) & it's really pretty amazing. He did a lot more work in South Africa than the movie gave him credit for.- Yes, my extent of pre-India Ghandi knowledge is that, a book my brother lend me once about his teachings that I flipped through on a flight from Alaska, & for some reason i know he used to try to eat a tomato a day to avoid constipation. Apparently his father & grandfather were prime ministers in a small west Indian City, he got his law degree in England in 2 years and 8 months where he was shy & did his best to imitate western men (but kept a promise to his mother to avoid wine, women, and meat... so not very western at all in my opinion) He also decided at age 36 to be celibate & kept this vow until his death. It's really good so far, but I'm only 150 pages in & its bout 600 I think. I'll keep you posted.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
An email I sent to family & friends on Nov 2
Hello there!
Most days here at the Ashram are filled with laughter & kids being kids but today I want to share a difficult story with you.
Today is all souls day, different from yesterday all saints day (look it up ;) ) One of the older girls at the toddlers house is named Rajeswari, we call her Raje (sounds like Reggie). Her mother died from the virus within the past year, & like all the other kids here she is HIV positive. Most children get the disease from birth (though some girls have gotten in through abuse). The usual case is that the father was a driver, slept with a prostitute, got HIV, brought it into the family, the wife becomes positive & infects her children either by birth or through breast milk. (With proper treatment from the beginning of pregnancy there is an 85% chance that the children will not have the virus, but because the virus lays dormant in some people, they don't know they have it. Some of the pregnant women that live under me at the flat are undergoing this treatment) In Raje's case, her father was not positive. Either the mother had the disease since birth (it can lay dormant for many years) & had a strand of the virus that did not correspond with her husband, but past it on to her daughter-- or she went out of the 'circle of trust'. (When explaining to the kids how someone gets the disease, we use this metaphor. When two people get married, they agree to stay in a circle. Someone went outside the circle & brought the disease back into the circle.) Anyway, most Indian people are very ignorant about HIV, & they ostracize those affected. The village where Raje is from is no exception. People accused her father of killing his wife & infecting his daughter by being with a whore. (this is not true since he was not positive). He received numerous threats & constant ridicule and abuse. About a week ago, he took his own life.
Today Raje is wearing one of her nicest dresses and is going to the cathedral in town with the head of the orphanage, an older girl to translate some things into Tamil (her native tongue) and one of the priests. Today she will find out she has no more family. She is a bright girl, mischievous at times & has a way of convincing all the boys to do things for her (I think we will be friends when she is older ;) ) Today I ask that you keep a special place in your heart for her. She will lead a very difficult life. Let's pray that she continues to bear her cross with joy. Please take a moment to ask God to comfort her as she begins to face difficulties she does not yet understand.
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